Day 1

I've officially made it to nearly 28 hours since my last cigarette. It hasn't been easy. My mind kept playing some tricks on me, telling me to just sneak one in or just borrow one from someone then try to quit again tomorrow. The best one was "why quit at all?"

The nausea has increased on top of the menstrual discomfort for which I'm taking a combination of herbs that help tremendously. The dizziness waxes and wanes now, but facial flushing has started and is in full effect. A lot of people love to say (and I hate this), "I know when a black woman blushes." They're all proud of themselves and cheesy, then they actually see me blush (not when they think I have) and jump back, yelling, "Oh my gosh! You're red!" No shit sherlock. So right now, I'm red almost constantly. Not sure what's driving that but am sure that it is a constant battle to ignore the little voices telling me to go smoke. I'm imaging how loud those voices must be for a man who has given up a far greater addiction than mine just because he decided to love me.

I am not too cranky and not mean at all. If my kids get too loud, it sounds like high heeled shoes striking the floor of an empty museum in my head, so I do insist on quiet.

Thank the gods for incense, herbs, wine and oils - the essentials of life. Now I need some rainwater and it's supposed to rain tomorrow.