Why I started in the first place.
My childhood friend and I were about 12 or 13 and thought it would be neat to try. Then we were able to buy cigarettes on our own.
I thought it was cool as a child.
I thought it would make me more grown up.
I had no concept of danger or addiction.
Why I continued to smoke throughout the years.
It calmed me when I was upset.
It gave me something to do when I was bored.
It was an alternative to hunger when I was unable to eat.
It was calming during deployment and gave me a sense of something that resembled home.
I can not possibly quit again, it will be too hard.
I relapsed.
Why I want to quit.
I feel guilty every time I light up that I am adding toxins to my body.
I am on a quest to purify my body and this is one hurdle that is a hinderance.
I am ashamed for my children to see me smoke.
I am fearful that they will decide to smoke (especially being old enough to buy cigarettes).
I have a cavity in a tooth that is located on the side where I often smoke.
I want my smile to be beautiful.
I do not want to feel heavy, tired, and like there is someone sitting on my chest.
I want to be released from the demands of my body for nicotine; able to do something without having to have a cigarette before doing it.
I want to re-become the happy carefree person I was during the times I did quit for extended periods of time.
I want to be closer to God without having to re-sanitize to address Him.
None of the reasons I had for starting still apply.
This period of meditation is focused on habits and the vices of the mouth.
The reasons I listed above will be meditated on until I formulate my plan to begin to quit again. It may be a week, it may be two. However long it takes, I intend on getting in touch with myself again before going onto the next step. I will be patient and realize that I did not become addicted in one day or one week. I, likewise, will need more than a day or week to release myself of this burden. I will also ignore the ignorance of others where I meet with it while I follow this process so that I will not be discouraged.
Along with realigning myself in regards to smoking, I must also realign myself spiritually. I must monitor what I say to others and how I say it. I will work so that I do not hurt other people's feelings with my words and my actions. I will work to not talk idly through measuring and wisdom. I will begin to delete curses from my mind's computer and my mouth. Any promises I make will be held true, otherwise I need to learn the wisdom of keeping my mouth shut.
Key goals of the 77 Commandments
1. Thou shall not cause suffering to humans.
5. Thou shall not cause suffering to others.
20. Thou shall not be impure.
21. Thou shall not refuse to listen to words of justice and truth.
51. Thou shall not act with insolence.
54. Thou shall not be impatient.
The seventy seven commandments. (n.d.). Retrieved March 17, 2011, from Non domesticated thinker
website: http://www.nondomesticatedthinker.com/2010/08/the-seventy-seven-commandments/
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